Trajectories

On a recent airing of the Tobolosky files, Stephen Tobolowsky shared a method actors use to flesh out their characters before attempting a portrayal. It was this; know your characters biggest dreams and darkest fears. All decisions and actions your character will make and take fit somewhere in that line. So, if you know those two things about any character, nothing they do can surprise you.

I realize this reasoning applies to real people as well. The pure philosophy of it can act as a guide through your life when you are unsure of how to respond to certain developments.

But then I realized another thing; just how many people are willing to admit to themselves what are their biggest hopes and darkest fears? It's difficult to admit that you dream. It's even harder to put a name or a face or situation to that knot in the pit of your stomach keeping you up at night.

And I mean going beyond the fear of "What if I'm a failure?" or "I really hate spiders and snakes". I mean those fears you're afraid to say out loud because of how simple and shallow they sound in your mind.

And what about dreams? What about hope? It's not enough to say of a fictional character or of a person they simply want to succeed. Where do they want to succeed? What does success look like? What kind of a life lets you sleep at night?

I find when it's time to make hard decisions it's best to reexamine these questions. Because hopes and fears can change without you knowing it. My fears as a woman are not the same as my fears as a little girl, or a teenage or as a young adult.

You find where those two end points are in your existence and your decisions can make sense after that. But, we're not fictional; we are real. Those end points might not be so obvious.