App testing

This post is exactly how it sounds.

Suppressing Self Destructive Behavior

Now, I could just find a psychology journal entry on this sort of thing, but I prefer to do my un-fact checked musings in a public venue, thanks.

What impulse is it in the human psyche, that, when we are faced with daunting mountains of work, encourages the notion that a bottle of wine would be a nice, simple temporary solution to our not-so-temporary problems...

I should be writing a paper for a class right now. But I'm writing this instead. Like, after I rant and rave to the anonymous internet for a few minutes, when I click back over to my Word document my paper will have suddenly written itself. That's ridiculous. I know this.

It must be the fight or flight response inherent in all species. Right now I want to fly far, far away from my computer... maybe down to a bar, but here I stay. I am rigid with the fear that if I stand up I will never sit back down and finish the paper. I'm like a dear trapped in migraine inducing headlights. Like a squirrel who won't stop trying to dislodge the piece of food from the crack in the road even though a car is barreling towards him at a dangerous 40 mph. (Why is a car going that fast in a residential zone? Don't they know there are children playing?!!)

ugh children...

I Became One Year Away from 30 Today

This is supposed to be some kind of mile stone, right?

Like, for the next 20 or so years I'm going to always be telling people that I am the age I am today. It never occurred to me be the kind of woman who would do that, but as I prepare for my final exams and take in the median age range of my fellow pupils, maybe a bit of truth stretching in the future will help me maintain the best life outlook.

Tonight I head to Deck the Hall Ball with my current husband. I didn't know the tickets were for Deck the Hall ball.

I heard Mumford and Sons and Deathcab for Cutie were playing in the same place so I said I wanted to go. Now, I must be subjected to tweens, teens and their moms in Seattle's Key Arena. I do not understand why I must be punished for enjoying popular music. Also, I sincerely hope Mumford and Sons dress like peasants as they did at the Grammys. It was an endearing yet sexy look.

I can't imagine being considered endearing and sexy at the same time. Or rather, I can imagine it and the image is kind of weird. So Mr. Mumford, if you ever read this, I am sorry I may have momentarily cause you and your brothers discomfort. Please go about your business. And I remind you, tonight your business includes entertaining me; I hope you enjoy the experience as much as possible. I know I will... enjoy the experience as much as possible.

Do they sell alcohol in Key Arena?

Trajectories

On a recent airing of the Tobolosky files, Stephen Tobolowsky shared a method actors use to flesh out their characters before attempting a portrayal. It was this; know your characters biggest dreams and darkest fears. All decisions and actions your character will make and take fit somewhere in that line. So, if you know those two things about any character, nothing they do can surprise you.

I realize this reasoning applies to real people as well. The pure philosophy of it can act as a guide through your life when you are unsure of how to respond to certain developments.

But then I realized another thing; just how many people are willing to admit to themselves what are their biggest hopes and darkest fears? It's difficult to admit that you dream. It's even harder to put a name or a face or situation to that knot in the pit of your stomach keeping you up at night.

And I mean going beyond the fear of "What if I'm a failure?" or "I really hate spiders and snakes". I mean those fears you're afraid to say out loud because of how simple and shallow they sound in your mind.

And what about dreams? What about hope? It's not enough to say of a fictional character or of a person they simply want to succeed. Where do they want to succeed? What does success look like? What kind of a life lets you sleep at night?

I find when it's time to make hard decisions it's best to reexamine these questions. Because hopes and fears can change without you knowing it. My fears as a woman are not the same as my fears as a little girl, or a teenage or as a young adult.

You find where those two end points are in your existence and your decisions can make sense after that. But, we're not fictional; we are real. Those end points might not be so obvious.

When the Radio Speaks to You

I'm going through a bit of turbulent time right now.

It's so bad, I'm actually identifying with every other song playing on the radio I have tuned to one of Seattle's pop-stations. You know you're lost when every song on an album titled "21" speaks to you and you're only a few days away from your 29th birthday...

When did I get so old?

Well, they say 30 is the new 20 and 40 the new 30. I hope someone says that anyway. If there isn't someone saying it I'll make sure I start. I want the phrase to have taken hold by the time I reach 30. A year should be enough time to bring it to full circulation.

I like the thing bands are doing now-a-days with the echo-y sound to their music that must be introduced post processing. It makes me feel like I'm at a well-behaved concert listening to the song. You know, like you're in a big room with a lot of people, but the people are all really happy and wearing an unusual amount of yellow and lime green? I like that image when I listen to music. Arcade Fire provides that mood exceptionally well. Try listening to "The Sprawl II" so you know what I'm talking about... in fact, I think I'm going to do that right now.

Electricity Consumption in Your Local Coffee Shop

It's more and more common these days for folks to have laptops. It is also very likely that many laptops will need charging if any processor-intensive work is being done, such as a power point presentation or an excel file... or worse yet a power point presentation which uses information from an excel file. That sort of business is likely to make my poor little Toshiba notebook crash into itself.

Outlets line the baseboards in the Starbucks I sit; right now only a handful are being utilized. It makes me wonder about the additional costs to the company. Not only are they providing a bunch of ungrateful caffeinated bastards with free wifi and place to sit, all for the price of a cup of joe, but they also are funneling us as much electricity as we need to maintain this level of connected-ness to the great interspace. And I still manage to find the chutzpah to complain about a $4 cup of coffee.

Boy, we are a spoiled society.... whoops almost wrote "soiled" rather than "spoiled". Well, I guess that would have worked too.

Television...

It's not uncommon for my husband and I to binge on TV shows. Currently we're bloating our brain gullets with CBS' the Big Bang Theory.

At first I was like, " this is awesome; they're totally exposing the masses to the culture of scientists in academia." Then, little by little, I became disenchanted. I noticed there were never any actual problems on the characters' whiteboards-- just standard equations. And more often than not, when it was time for the characters to "do some work", they would put something asinine under those equations, like "= 8" when there were NO INTEGERS written anywhere on the board.

Anyway

Edit: Apparently they have real physicists fact checking the science on the show, so I deleted my previous statement about "hipster nerds" doing the research. Also, did you know Mayim Blank has a doctorate in neurobiology? No kidding.